Of missions' flaws and Hokage's miscalculations
by SonataForMyOverdosedLover
Summary: revised AU.Or how not to start a day in Konohagakure.About grudges among clans, sexual frustration and well…Sai being Sai.It’s a NejiSaku one-shot set in a NonMassacre AU.Throw Itachi in the scene and hints about team7 friendship and see what you get.


**Because I am currently seized by college activities I am not able work hard on everything that I desire to. But I had this idea stuck in my mind for some time now and decided to write it down in a short one-shot.**

**As you will see I decided to settle the events in a NonMassacre AU and it will also have hints about the close friendship between the members of Team seven. Seriously now, they deserved a better destiny, don't you agree? **

**Hope you'll enjoy the read and leave your thought about it after. I am rather curious if you guys will like it.**

**I do not own Naruto. The series belongs to MASASHI KISHIMOTO.**

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Tsunade would have sold half of Konoha for a bottle of sake and an empty office at the moment. And it had nothing to do with mountains of paperwork. Actually she was this close to almost agree on working on them for a whole week than to have to face this miscalculation she made as a Hokage. _Almost_ being the key word. But then again, it could have been worse. The only thing that kept her from cursing this new day was the weak self-conviction that instead of the progeny she could have been obliged to start the morning with one of the darkest nightmares she usually had after making abuse of her sake late in the night, namely being stuck between the walls of the same room with Hiashi Hyuga and Fugaku Uchiha. But thanks Kami that was not the case. She understood that the hate between the clans was THIS big - ok, maybe she didn't but as long as it would keep both quiet everything would work with her – but for them to cling on every little flaw just to start a mute war was just too much. She made a mental note to lessen the income of the shinobi who had the brilliant idea of putting a Hyuga ANBU as a second under an Uchiha captain. It had been this way for months so why oh gods have they decided to bring their egoistical problems outside the clans just now? She had better things to do on such a beautiful day – for example to discover where the hell did Shizune hide the sake, so precious in moments like this. That woman had a really bad timing. But once again, it could have been worse…she presumed. She was praising herself for the decision she had made so that she had the chance to settle this problem with only the Uchiha as the Byakugan possessor was thankfully away in a mission. Ok; one aspect solved… sort of.. She understood Itachi's position inside her office... and if she was broad enough she could take Sasuke's presence as well as a proof that Fugaku was taking every chance he had to shake Hyuga's power. – even if this was the lamest attempt that she had witnessed from the two of them so far– but…she leaned on her chair and watched with critical eyes the third person in the room – WHAT ON EARTH WAS NARUTO HERE FOR!??!!!

With one hand to her jaw and the other tapping impatiently on the desk she eyed the three of them who, by the looks, found nothing out of order in the strange combination. Partially because none of them cared why the other was present.

_Let all this be finished soon._

"Itachi-san." She paused. " I understand that as a superior it is correct for you to have a full report over the mission your second in command, as any other of your team members, is involved in. But you, of most people, working as an ANBU for such a long time, should know that ANBU members can be assigned on different missions with different team-mates or even single. What is more, you are aware that there are missions and missions. I believe I specified in the note that you received that I wanted Neji on a classified mission that does not require any knowledge outside the members involved and the high authority – as in the elder's council and myself."

That arrogant prodigy, the pride of the Uchiha's clan concluded my words with a simple nod, the blanch expression on his face telling me that what he received was not a satisfactory answer. I felt a headache knocking at the door of my consciousness. Ha! Damn them if I was going to let it get at me. Go away! No one's home!

"None of the least I don't understand why the sudden reaction. He was sent away in missions as such for a long time. What made you come here all of the sudden?"

"Regardless to how many missions he was assigned to in various formations before, this is the first time he is leading a mission outside my team since he joined the ANBU under my command. I have the right to discuss the matter with the members of my team but I was informed that by the time the note came into my hands he was already gone."

"True. Due to the circumstances we had to mobilize the team as fast as we could. And it may also be true that I begged the question that this was indeed the first time I asked Neji on a special mission since he entered your team but apart form the information you have already received, unless things were to get out of control, there is no need for further details."

The woman sighed and straightened in the chair.

"If that was all, please –"

"WHAAA-!!! That was not all!! What about Sakura-chan? Since when does she have to go on missions outside Team 7?"

Naruto's high voice sounded to her like nails creaked on windows. She was getting bored of the same old story.

"Naruto – this is not the first mission she is sent **outside** Team 7." The Hokage barked through her teeth.

"No, but she disappeared without a trace! Do you know how worried we were?"

"Dobe has a point."

She preferred the younger Uchiha much more when he kept it shut.

"Missions are more important than leaving notes on the fridge."

"But-but – BAA-CHAN, how can you just send her away like that? She is a medic! What if the town would suffer from a sudden plague and she won't be here to save our lives?"

Sasuke grimaced at the stupid excuse Naruto was babbling.

"Uzumaki." The fact that the woman's voice was even lower than before was far from relaxing. " If you are out of your damn excuses to keep you from going hysterical because you and Sasuke or that old perverted fox are not there to monitories every breath Sakura takes as if she were made of damned porcelain, move your eye disturbing body out of my office right this instant before I remember what you called me again."

"BAA-SAN!" he slammed his hands on the desk. He changed her suffix – how politely of him – "You sent Sakura-chan on a mission with an ANBU member –

"Make that two. The three of you seemed to somehow forget that Sai is with them too." She cut him off.

"Even worse!!! Sai? You sent Sai with them? What kind of mission is this? Why couldn't you assign someone else with those two? Tell me the truth! This mission is so dangerous that they might need a skilful medic next to them? Isn't it so?"

"U-zu-ma-ki! Do not piss me off early in the morning. Sakura wasn't sent in this mission as a **medic**, she was sent as a **jonin** if that is enough to get you out of my sight."

"Well, then…. Then why Neji and Sai? Why not one of us?"

Itachi was already getting an idea of what the mission was about and the fact that Uzumaki kept bugging in made him discredit his brother's childhood friend.

"Sakura and Neji are not working together for the first time and they have experience and knowledge on their missions. Do not underestimate the team I choose to fulfill the mission."

" I don't! I know that Sakura is doing great…at whatever she is doing…"

Sasuke sighed. "We don't even know what she is on the mission for, dobe."

"Shut up teme! Why not send at least one of us in the mission instead of Neji? Why not send me or teme? Or Kakashi sensei?"

Tsunade looked outraged and disgusted in the same time even if for a moment, then exploded in a loud sarcastic laughter.

"I wouldn't send you in Neji's place even if paid and if my house were to be built over a pipe of running sake. Do I look that disturbed in the head to bring Konoha on social collapse in such an idiotic way? Send Sasuke? Why on kami's name would I willingly pour ashes on my head? Not to mention Sakura's too! As a matter of fact I made a self-note not to put any Uchiha at all in this kind of mission after the experience I had with Shisui. As-"

"You assigned my cousin with Sakura before?" Sasuke acted like a translator for the raised eyebrow of his aniki. _I do not recall Shisui ever mentioning that to me._

I think I made myself a habit from sighing because of the Uchiha family. They are really at it when pointing a fact.

"Yes, and even if the mission was a success I don't feel like taking chances with Sakura's life." At which, if it weren't for the awkward position that the said mission put her in, she would have felt relieved at the sudden silence that took over the office as the three were trying to process the meaning of the information they had just received. For Naruto is was a total blankness, too hard to put two with two, Sasuke could only think of sceneries involving blood and violence past his pink-haired friend acceptance but Shisui wasn't Itachi's best friend for nothing, and knowing his cousin as the dance-floor of bouncing hormones that he is, the fact that he deliberately 'forgot' to mention that precisely mission was reason enough for him to settle a private '_discussion' _with him the first time they meet.

"As for Kakashi he was an option too but he is away with other matters at the moment. Plus, pairing her with Neji is the best choice for the current situation. They are both reliable and professional in the field."

"But BAA-SAN!!! Couldn't you send someone else in her place? She isn't even ANBU!"

That was just too much for her.

"AND THANKS GOD SHE IS SMAT ENOUGH NOT TO DESIRE TO BE ONE! AND EVEN IF SHE CRACKED HER HEAD AND SUDDENTLY WANTED TO BECOME ONE IT WIL BE OVER MY DEAD BODY!" The woman's sudden outburst made them take a step back or, Itachi being Itachi, go in defense mode in case things would start to fly around the room. Tsunade started to ramble madly through the papers on her desk as if trying to find one in specific, though it was just a ineffective method of calming herself. _Damn Naruto, damn Uchiha's, damn professionalist Hyuga and damn Shizune for taking her sake away. She was starting to believe that that woman had once again flushed her reserves of sake down the toilet before she arrived to the office. _And it seemed that she wasn't affected one bit that right in front of her was one of the ANBU captains for talking that carelessly about them. "Special squads my ass! Net of wasp more than anything else." She continued to mumble.

Though the new subject was so tempting for Naruto Sakura-chan was his priority.

"Listen to me Baa-"

"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME TWO-LEGGED-USELESS-UZUMAKI, unless you were Hokage and no one knew about it I am in full capacity to order around this place. If I say Sakura goes on a mission with Neji, Sakura goes on a mission with Neji. _I_ am Hokage and if I have a dream over night that I want to send her to a tropical island and make her marry to a rich Yakuza so that neither you or your made-of-stones-Uchiha-friend could ever see sight of her ever again I have every right to do it and you won't be able to do a thing about it! Did I make myself clear or do I need to explain it to you with diagrams and accolades?"

She sighed and was quite pleased with herself and her new accomplishment of defeating Uzumaki **and** _two_ Uchihas without consuming even a drop of sake, forced as she was, but still it was her accomplishment.

Once she was calm and serene again, she used the professional tone once more.

"As I previously stated I am confident in the team that I have sent on the field and never had they failed to meet my expectances on the matter. Moreover, they have proven themselves unexpectedly efficient during each mission."

Seeing there wasn't any trace of protest written on any of their faces she let herself smile victoriously.

The guerre has ended and she felt that this day wasn't going to be such a Hell Gates opener as she had predicted it to be. The worst had passed and new beams of a productive time with her sake and gambling plans was already itching her skin.

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And outside the office, as Shizune walked past the window with her morning coffee, as she was casually glancing outside, was about to make plans on how to knock at her superior's door to confirm her shining victory but, at a second and more thoughtful examination of the compound of the Hokage's tower she decided that destiny was such a fragile and ironic thing.

-----------

She threw the coffee cup on her desk splashing the content on some of the papers and thought that she must do everything in her power to overcome the disaster of still unknown origins that threatened her shishou's reputation, Konoha's quiet existence and ultimately her peaceful mind with a tremendous headache, disaster in the form of a hurricane under the name of Sakura, Hyuga-san and the aftermath of Sai-san.. So she knocked almost gently at the door and when she received the sign that she could proceed, in an instant she was by Hokage's side.

"Tsunade-Sama, the team sent to Land of Wind has returned."

The said woman opened her eyes in surprise.

"That fast? But I barely sent them four days ago." Her smile grew even bigger dismissing of the worry tone in Shizune's voice. "Talking about efficiency."

The dark haired woman grimaced. "Tsunade-sama, without meaning any offend I would suggest to dismiss the current meeting at urgent peace." Her voice was not shaking, was it?… and those sharp steps were just her imagination, shinobi were trained to be as quiet as felines even under rage factor.

The generous busty woman looked puzzled for the first time.

"And what is the hurry? Tell them to wait patiently outside until all the problems with these gentlemen are clarified."

Shizune would have been more than happy to end her train of mental curses directed towards her superior's bad timing in showing off but the door clicked open and in a matter of seconds was shut closed with the same force leaving the office in full silence and all eyes turned towards the said door. The door was about to open once again but it was like a force was pushing it to stay closed from the same side. The clock on the wall ticked a few more times in the frustrating quietness before the handle of the door started to go up and down in a spasmodic rhythm. Then, silence once again. Naruto felt like sweatdropping and was about to materialize a horror scene inspired by the movie he had seen some nights ago with Hinata when the door cracked open large enough to see Sai positioned in front of it, with the hand on the doorknob and a contemplative face as if he was on a technical research on finding bout why the door wasn't opening enough to make his pass through possible. His eves lowered unimpressed to the floor and as if his statement was something of little interest he looked back at his hand prepared to pull the door.

"Hyuga-san… your foot is blocking the door from opening." If it weren't Sai the one we were talking about, by now he would have been mentally pinned to the floor with his head perforated by unseen kunai as he was exactly blocking the glares that his other two teammates were sending each other, both unseen at this point by the residents of the room.

For as long as 30 seconds it seemed that his request fell unheard to the said man but unexpectedly the door was lifted off the hard pressure and Sai could easily open it enough to let himself enter. Then, as soon as he left the high voltage zone by inches he stopped and stared into space as if there was a weak breeze passing by his scruff. He looked to his right past his shoulder to the pink kunoichi in the hall staring at the man in front of her and then to his left to the half of Neji he could see because of the door, mimicking the woman without a flaw. He tilted his head thoughtfully to one side and then he spun a little to the left pushing with his both hands the door open at its full so that it was now trapping Neji between it and the wall and successfully putting a barrier between the two. They wouldn't dare to transform Hokage's door in a training target now, wouldn't they?

Content with his newly created ingenious device he stepped inside the room with his usual annoying smile planted on his face.

"If you aren't capable of using a door properly try the windows next time. They're even more than one so you won't have to use the same one either." His monotone voice reminded everyone in the office why he wasn't missed by any when he was away on missions. He came on a full stop in front of the desk. "Baa-san." He said and bowed. Tsunade felt a vein popping on her head and Naruto laughed sheepishly. He forgot to mention to Sai that it wasn't necessary to try to befriend the Hokage.

Before Tsunade could glare Sakura moved her body from behind the wall and with firm steps and rigid face came next to Sai. Naruto gulped and looked worryingly at Sasuke only to be met by an approving nod that indeed he should restrain himself from jumping over to their friend to give her one of his death hugs if he liked his skin where it was.

"Shishou."

Soon after her, Neji stepped from behind the door closing it as he came to stand by Sakura's left so now the three of them were glaring in their different ways at the Hokage even if she was curious to know if they were even seeing her at all.

"Hokage-sama."

She narrowed her eyes. Why was she suddenly hearing the roar of a pair of old gigantic doors opening right behind her and frost swallowing her alive? She was going to regret ever starting this conversation.

"Well, since you are already here after politely knocking at my door and stepped in only after I gave my approval, you may as well report the situation of your mission."

It was problematic that after physically fighting over the door to storm in like there was no tomorrow now two of her best shinobi stood silently like someone had cast a stone jutsu on them. But the maddening element was Sai's grin that for some sadistic reason seemed even bigger than usual.

"We lost track of the freight and its final destination."

Tsunade felt fire built inside as she received the bulked answer from the Hyuga.

"That was the whole porpoise of the mission." The woman in the chair knew that she was going to redecorate the office sooner than expected as she tried to keep her rage under control.

"Hirosumi is currently in Konoha and his net in the black-market is doomed to its perish."

Sakura answered in a copied tone that Neji had used, unfazed by her shishou's glare.

"Well even if the mission was a failure you know what they say – 'all's well when it ends well" and if Sakura wasn't currently too involved in sending death wishes towards someone else she would have rolled her eyes at Sai. Tsunade eyed the three shinobi and asked herself if she could afford to even hope that maybe this mission went even smoother than predicted. But there was a killing aura surrounding two of her most precious men that she blamed the blinding desire for sake for imagining things such as a second pair of ghostly them strangling each other to death.

"So, are you implying that you have gathered enough proves to send him with a one way ticket to the depth of prison?"

Pause. Way too long for a pause.

"Somehow. But I'm sure that he will deliberately spill out the rest of the information when… later."

_Way to go, Sakura._

Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Very well. I'll inform Ibiki of his new mission."

"That…can wait…"

"Where is he at the moment, Sakura?" Tsunade really, really started to dislike this.

"He is not a threat to Konoha momentarily. We took the liberty of placing him in one of the rooms of the hospital for a check up."

"Hospital? Did he become hostile upon arresting?"

Silence. And frustration was growing like moss on her patience, as the two of them seemed to have developed a curious interest on her desk.

"Actually he was in healthy condition for the first 12 hours since the official arrest." Sai said in his singsong voice searching for any possible cracks in the ceiling ignoring the holes that the glares of his current teammates were digging in his head.

"Then what happened after the first 12 hours since the arrest?" the woman asked in such a low voice that both the kunoichi and the coffee-haired ANBU forgot about their angriness in a split of a second.

"Well?" as she could have waited a good day and night for an answer to leave their lips she gave up and turned to Sai, even if at the moment it seemed like pure suicidal act to her.

"Do you wish for me to start from where Ugly almost paralyzed his lower members when he told her that she could do better than, and I quote – "that partner with ridiculously longer hair than yours" – end quotation, and bed him instead _or _when Neji-san broke his jaw when he touched her ass?"

"HE WHAT? I'm going to beat the hell out of that bastard."

Even if there was a hard knot in her throat Tsunade threw a threatening glare towards Naruto and when he stepped back she furrowed. "Was that reason enough to send him in this critical condition?"

Before the two could come up with a formal and satisfactory answer, luck was a tricky card because Sai was already enjoying hearing his own voice too much.

"If you ask me the poor guy was unfortunate enough to speak up in the middle of their mental 100 list of how to rip each other's throats. It's all about luck and hormones these days."

Sooo…the glimpse in Neji's eyes as he was forcefully staring outside the window from Tsunade's back had nothing to do with the sudden squeak of a bird that flied with the speed of light from one of the branches of the tree. And Sasuke's frown was not a reaction to Sakura's feral narrow of eyelids.

"Hormones influences one's metabolism and sexual life, _Sai. _It has nothing to do with violence. At lest it can cause only frustration and not – "

"Exactly my point." He cut her off with the smuggest expression he could manage.

Neji's hands turned into fists.

"Smart move Sakura."

The pinkette growled.

"He is under your command. Why don't you keep him shut?"

"Not in this mission."

"So what? He is used to get orders from you; I see no difference."

"In that case you should check your eyes too Sakura-san, because he is not a dog –**it**'s as human as me and you."

At that she finally threw him a side-glance.

"Are you implying that I am discrimin-"

"Sai-san. Are you not at least a bit offended by their words?"

The Root member looked at the elder of the two raven-haired brothers, mimicking his unreadable marble expression. Then he smiled excessively.

"Oh, I am most glad to hear their voices again. They haven't spoken to each other this much and in such long phrases since we left for Konoha. It's like a sigh of pure relief that you let out after you've realized that you've left the twilight zone."

"_**Shut – up**_."

Shizune stopped a shiver down her spine as she felt a not too cheerful self-destructing aura arising from Tsunade. The said woman closed her eyes, not wanting to see any of the faces that were currently occupying her office and let her body as numb as she could.

"Since you were so eager to step inside I assume you have your reports finished. Leave them on the desk and not a single one of you three appear in front of me until I had have read them."

Ok; any time now there will be three clicks of the scrolls hitting the desk and a rustle of cloths, as they would be leaving the room letting her to have a normal day as a Hokage, doing paperwork, signing new missions, discussing diplomatic problems with the elders – **anything **but having to deal with two shinobi suffering from a self frustration that she did not want to mention or to even think about it and their creepy team-mate that could not make a difference between saying the truth and being decent. Any time now…..any time… _Where the hell are those signs???!!_

Oh, dear Kami…. What has she done wrong to deserve this? Tsunade opened one of her eyes; checked; the three stones were still there. Make that two as Sai was currently arranging his belt.

"WELL?" she barked fully opening both her eyes.

Sakura took a superior pose and folded her arms below her breasts, pushing her lips slightly foreword and looking straight ahead.

At least she was still calm…sort of.

"_Hyuga-san_. Mind to explain why your noble hands couldn't write down a report?"

Naruto gulped while Sasuke instinctively brought his hands to the hilt of his sword. There were some things that you put down in a code when it comes to Sakura. Being childhood friends they knew better than anyone else:

a: When the woman possessor of monstrous chakra was addressing you by your last name it was a sign to take this valuable chance and withdraw from whatever you were doing before you risk to leave with more than your ego hurt. This is the line that Naruto reached, but thankfully enough never crossed. Though there were times when he had to spend days in the hospital at cause of one or two bad jokes.

and b: When she was even adding the honorific suffix you were done for or people will start missing you. And it was common knowledge that the more high ranked you were actually in society the more ironic will it be and more venom will she add in her voice. At that Sasuke had a few painful experience. Such as doing one of the stupidest mistakes in his live, when during one training, he deliberately state his opinion about women being genetically weaker than men which concluded with him as wounded as after an S-class mission **and** without a medic to tend him (later he found out that Sakura promised a broken rib to anyone that would help him). Or that one time when he sacrificed a happy birthday party with his friends when he turned 20 over a family diner. And that wouldn't have got to Sakura that much if he hadn't used her and Naruto as guests in the Uchiha estate as a cover in order to evade his father's speech about the responsibility of being an Uchiha heir. He learned then that maybe Sakura wasn't made for all evening long discussions with his mother about exotic cooking (or any kind of cooking when it comes to his female friend) and proper age for marriage – both at which Sakura liked her life better off. How he ended up being tied later that night to the bed in his room he preferred not to remember.

Of course Sasuke had already in mind to have a private _talk_ with Neji after hearing everything that went into the office but when he heard him scrowling, he already felt bad for him. If there's one thing that Sakura hates the most is being looked down at.

"Haruno-san; Mind to remind me with what my _'noble hands' _were occupied with?"

Sakura's eyes winded in disapproval and there was a sudden flush in her cheeks.

"Oh, spare me Hyuga! Give a damn proper answer and stop blaming me as if you were Adam giving reasons in front of God!"

Sai stopped from rotating his belt and looked up. "Actually, according to what I have read in a book, metaphorically analyzing the comparisons is accurate."

The woman spun around like burnt and glared at the other man. "No one is interested in what you read in your books, stupid! Keep it to yourself." The heater made her face almost the same colour as her hair.

"Where. Are. The. Reports?"

Sakura stiffed as well as Neji.

"We weren't able to write them yet Hokage-sama."

"Well…you can have mine."

Both shot puzzled looks at Sai who reached for a scroll in his backpack and put it on the table.

"When did you write that?"

"No. What did you write in that?"

"One. On our way back to Konoha, Neji-san; and two – everything that the mission consisted of, Sakura-san."

Shizune lifted her gaze to see everyone in the room looking at the scroll as if it was some sort of time bomb. Once again the clock on the wall seemed to have amplifiers attached to it. When Tsunade was about to reach for it two arms stretched over the desk and grabbed the scroll.

Sakura and Neji looked at their touching hands and then at each other.

"_Put . the . scroll . down."_ She swear that this headache was reaching the dimensions of the Hokage Monument."

"Shishou… I am sure that the scroll contains a lot of irrelevant data to the mission."

"Don't make me repeat myself Sakura."

The pinkette managed to do so after what seemed a powerful struggle with herself, then she looked at the man next to her.

"Do something. He's your under." She hissed at an equally horrified looking Neji.

"What do you want me to do? Monitories him? Teach him what to write? Do I look like a teacher to you Haruno?"

"I wouldn't care if you looked like a undertaker. He is your responsibility."

Tusnade slammed one hand on the desk making the scroll roll over and hit the floor.

"You two better start talking about that happened in this mission or I'll make sure you'll never work under the current positions ever."

Their superior's words were enough to calm the spirits and after they regained their initial position both decided that there was no turning back. They might as well try to keep it as professional as they could.

"As soon as we reached our destination in the Land of Wind we decided to work individualy the first two nights in order to gain more information."

Now we are getting somewhere. The Hokage leaned on her chair even if for an instant was about to blow a fuse when Sai took a sit on her desk and crossed his legs ready to listen to the story as if he hadn't been part of it. She tried to cool down – the sooner this is over the sooner she will see her office empty.

"But after the first night we had to change tactics and work as an item with Sai as our backup and for technical elements."

Tsunade didn't like this. "What made you change plans so soon?"

"In order to gain direct access to the substance we had to pair. Neji-san figured where the transactions were taking place and I had previously founded out of a way to get inside the place without rising suspicions."  
"I hope you haven't let any traces during your interrogation." The 5th Hokage knew perfectly well how dangerous were these missions for a female jonin. During this kind of missions a shinobi was the most easily to identify since they were obliged to full exposure to the second party.

"Pff…even if the guy would have suspected anything I don't see him able to talk for a long time now." Sai's unnecessary comment was enough to trigger a whole new blast of attacks.

"It's not my fault he was sent flying down the stairs." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"He was towering all over you." Neji whispered in a dreadful tone.

"I could have managed him fine by myself."

"It didn't look so from where I stood."

She narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"Why even bother, it's not like you didn't take his place the next night."

"_Saai!"_ Sakura managed to spit fire through her teeth.

"WHAAA? WHAT are you talking about Sai? What happened in the Suna?" Naruto tuck up his sleeved ready to smack someone, though at the point he wasn't'sure who.

"Consider what is mission duty before making it sound anything else, Sai."

You can always count on Neji to put an end to what could have transformed into a major disaster.

The busty woman turned her attention back at the two.

"Continue."

"We entered the place at 11 sharp the next night and Sai was to sneak his way if we were obliged to take the situation …_further_ than regular, public missions." Sakura narrowed her eyes expecting her shishou to understand what she was talking about without having to actually name the delicate posture, not to mention, in front of her friends.

The woman nodded.

"We felt Hirosumi's chakra signature as he entered the place somewhere around midnight. He was going to make the transaction with the owner and send the remaining substances further in the country. We already had arranged a room upstairs next to the meeting hall, under the cover of special clients so that we would have been able to gain access to their conversation. So, as soon as we disappeared from the pub and made our way inside the room Sai took the message and proceeded into locating the depot from where the freight will be leaving after the meeting was over."

"Talk for yourself Ugly. I could barely make my way through that brothel. People are moving like fishes around that place."

"What? You have been into a whorehouse!!?!?" Naruto's eyes turned to the size of overgrown apples as he was starting to get the idea of the whole mission; at least a little part of it.

"No, Naruto. Black-market dealers are selling opium while they eat dinner at the Kazekage's table." Sakura couldn't suppress her sarcastic comment, already annoyed about Sai's intervention.

Itachi folded his arms and nodded.

"Hirosumi is a powerful dealer of opium. To send after him only three men was something risky Hokage-sama."

"They were supposed to gather information about his movements on the black-market not seize him." The woman huffed. "But I guess something good came out of this mission after all. Go on."

"It didn't take long for Sai to come back and give us the signal that he had found the place." For some reason Neji took over the conversation. "Everything that was left was to wait for the meeting to be over and give Sai a sign to start the sabotage of the cargo."

Silence. It might have been for only a couple of seconds but Tsunade had a bad feeling about it. And the look on the two shinobi who seemed to be trying to find a way with words to express what came next wasn't doing any good to her health.

"And?" No one was expecting to hear a rather irritated Sasuke naming the question that was on everybody's lips. Actually no one was expecting the _irritated_ part of it. Maybe his brother did. And if Naruto hadn't been so dense he would have expected it from the blond boy too. The way the members of Team 7 were always watching each other's back wasn't a secret to anyone in Konohagura.

"We let a small detail slip us when we first proceeded with the plan."

"What detail Hyuga-san?"

The said man looked at his superior. "There were cameras in **every** room. So we had to continue to act accordingly to the situation during the surveillance of the meeting."

The woman in the chair closed her eyes and let a long sigh out, fighting the urge to massage her temples. Why was she feeling as if the ground was lifted from under her feet? She had sent them in similar missions before and they have always acted strictly professional under these conditions. It was no reason to panic. She even had to admit that they were the best she had in this field After their first mission she was even impressed at how brilliant and smooth they have worked. So, why was she feeling like her legs would start trembling at any moment? That's it! Enough is enough.

"Shizune. Sake."

The raven-haired woman licked her dry lips worryingly.

"Are you sure-"

"Sake, _Shizune_."

There was no reason fighting it. If at least she could prevent her medical mentor from going ballistic that's what she was going to do. In a split of a second she was out and back with a glass and a bottle of the so much needed potion. And even quicker than that the glass was back empty.

For Itachi, the whole situation was starting to amuse him. Minus the fact that Neji was his under and the fact that he might have blown up a mission the way he would have never expected it from the said ANBU might bring him into problems as well. But apart from that, the troubled expression that the kunoichi possessed and Hyuga's struggle to keep his face as straight as he could, plus the holes that his ototou was digging in the previous man's back, accompanied by his confused friend looking from a person to another trying to figure what was going on, was actually a circle that if he, Uchiha Itachi, would have been possessing such ability, would have been laughing at it as a hyena. But he **was** Uchiha Itachi so it was fundamentally impossible for that to happen.

"And?" the woman repeated the same question as the younger Uchiha did minutes ago. "What does this have to do with the way this mission ended?"

"It doesn't… partially." Sakura couldn't lie to her shishou. Yes, she could keep things from her but not lying. And she was thankfully that she was currently holding a grudge against the man next to her or she wouldn't have been able keep her from turning into a living tomato. Why on earth did Naruto and Sasuke have to be here? Weren't they having any other more productive activities to do in the morning? Like snoring and drooling on their pillows or digging in enormous bowls of ramen or tearing down some trees on the training grounds? Lady luck was seriously hating her.

"It all started to fall apart when Sai failed to read the sign that was supposed to send him into action." Neji thought that he could save the situation. But, boy he was so wrong. It actually brought apocalypse on them under the form of Sai. And Sakura, knowing the expression on her so called friend, wasn't fast enough to prevent it from happening.  
"I had to wait outside in the cold for more than an hour. Do you have any ideas of how cold are nights in Sunakagure? And what sigh was that supposed to be? I couldn't decide if it was one of your growled-half-ended sentences or the hisses and moans she was making."

"_Sai . eat . your . words . before . I . rip . your . liver . and . make . you . chew . on . it._ _"_ The venom in Sakura's low voice made everyone's blood froze and all the colour in Sai's ,Naruto's and Sasuke's faces dried. They knew a Sakura Molotov cocktail when they saw one. He had pushed her too far and anyone who seconds ago was about to explode with a riot of words and curses forgot about it in a split of a moment.

"_What on this damned earth happened in that room?"_

They looked in pure horror at the woman in front of them as if she was mental. Did she really mean it? Was she really expecting from them to tell her…._**that**_**?** For some reasons both of them wondered if, to their misfortune, the old perverted sannin happened to visit Konoha and hypnotize their Hokage into gathering new subjects for his stupid books while they were away. That couldn't ever happen, could it? And they did **so** not just gulp like two cowards.

"We… weren't exactly on good terms that night." Neji was fighting into keeping their image without having to lie to her.

Was that keeping their image? The implication of his statement just sent them a ticket to hell.

"Are you implying that you endangered the mission because of a novice mistake? What kind of shinobi would bring personal matters inside the mission?"

At least now she was angry and not demanding embarrassing answers from them.

"It was a mistake and we take responsibility of it."

"Mistake? You call that a mistake!?!". The woman poured herself another glass of sake and flung the bottle on the desk, gulping down the glass. "Do I want to know how on kami's name did you even managed to catch Hirosumi?"

Silence.

And more silence.

"When we realized things were getting out of control we stormed into the corridor. Exactly when out target was leaving for the depot Neji-san seized him as I went after the cargo with Sai following me."

"Which was such a brilliant idea." The Byakugan helder rolled his lavender eyes sarcastically, which reminded Sakura of their current feeling for each other.

"It was brilliant enough to catch some of the black-market dealers and gain enough proofs to put an end to their affairs."

"Well it wasn't because of you inhuman strength or jonin abilities." The frustration was now clearly visible on the man's face as his Byakugan involuntarily activated, veins dangerously looming around his eyes.

"Actually she beat them quite well." Sai offered his sincere answer even if it didn't affect their glare contest.

"Pff… as if they even had the chance to react and counterattack."

"It is also true that they weren't expecting a half na-"

In less than a second Neji snapped his head at Sai and the latter had to actually check if there wasn't a hole in his chest because of the kunai he mentally felt when he met his sharp gaze.

"Sai, shut the fuck up."

At that he nodded mechanically. "You should have said that from the beginning."; and from that point on he zipped it.

Sakura then stared at Neji with an 'I-told-you-so' exasperated expression. "Was it that hard? It would have saved us from lots of embarrassing moments."

"You too. I am not done with you either!"

"Done with me? **I** should be the one saying that! And stop acting like it was something so dramatic. It wasn't like I was naked!!!"

Shizune sighed and covered her ears to protect them form the 'who-shouts-louder-that-the-other' game and if she would have had another pair of arms she would have protected her eyes too from the glares that threatened to smash into pieces everything that would stay in the way, as closing her eyes wasn't a totally safe thing to do in a room currently under tension.

"My apologies if I failed to see the difference between being naked and barely having your body covered by anything."

Not sure if it was because of embarrassment or rage but Sakura's face was as red as the top she was wearing. If that's the way he wanted to play then so be it.

"And, if I may ask, who was at fault that I had to storm out of the room in such attire?"

It worked like hot pepper on her suddenly, or not so suddenly, archenemy.

"Do not forget Haruno that I am not made of stones. I am a man no matter how much you overlook it."

"Must I remind you that you are supposed to be a shinobi first than a man?"

From his position on the table Sai stretched his arms wondering who would die first of poison if they were to accidentally bite their tongues.

"And at what part in this were you a shinobi more than a woman _Sakura_?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP BOTH OF YOU!" There was a loud thud as the chair hit the floor. "Out of my office and do not dare to come back until you'll have in your hands a decent report of the mission!"

Shizune stepped back in fear. The two straightened into their position but they still continued to throw side glares one-another.

"What are you waiting for? OUT! THIS INSTANT! Both of you."

As they bowed and with robotic moves went for the door, Sai raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think it's safe to send them out in the same time. I like this tower better when it's standing. Shouldn't you wait at least 10 minutes until one is away to sent the other out?"

By this time the two were staring ready to bite the other's hand if it were to reach for the door handle.

"There is no reason to worry. I am sure that they aren't ready to spend their nights from now on cleaning the dungeons of Konoha's prison. And we wouldn't want to have to deal with the head of Hyuga's clan reaction if he were to find out the embarrassment of such an activity that one of his most precious members were to bring, now wouldn't we Neji-san? Not to mention that the Uchiha's would be the first to enjoy the news."

Ah, it felt so good to bring misery upon someone after suffering because of them for such a long time.

At that Neji narrowed his eyes, never leaving sight of the pink kunoichi; but he reached for the handle and opened the door like a perfect gentleman to let her pass.

Oh, but Tsunade wasn't finished as the door was closing after them, her eyes glaring at the two men that were about to launch to the said door.

"And do not even think about beating him, skinning him, saw him, throw his body down the rive, or bury him under Konoha! Do not think even as close as touching a single lock of his hair or you'll end up cleaning the Hokage Monument."

Naruto looked frantically between the door, Tsunade and his raven-haired friend while Sasuke narrowed his eyes bloodcurdlingly but soon relaxed his body.  
"And do** not** even think that Kakashi will make any difference."

There was nothing left for Naruto than to huff resigned.

Tsunade was about to rearrange her clothes and calm down when she felt that there was still an eyesore in her sight range.

"That is valid for you too Sai. Unless you don't feel capable of giving a decent summary of the mission, you will have to write down one."

Sai hopped from the desk and turned to face the tall woman. He brought his right hand up to cup his chin meditatively. He shifted the weight of his body on his left leg; pondered a little; then looked contemplatively at Sasuke: wrong words + obsessed overprotecting friends + recently sharpened katana = not so bright future for himself… if no future at all; conclusion - reformulate the phrases.

He shifted on the other leg.

Tsunade was losing her patience because the irritated tapping of fingers on the surface of the desk was clearly not out of bliss.

Sai looked into her eyes and pressed his lips.

"Yosh."

The woman raised both her eyebrows in expectation.

"Let's just hope that at worst Neji-san isn't the jelly roll he seems to be or I'm sure the Hyuga's will be happy to have a heir of a new generation in the family."

He would have ended his answer with one of his greatest smiles if Tsunade didn't kick him out on the spot, and to his own good must he say as a second before he saw two enraged animals swooping his way and the next one the walls of the empty corridor of the tower.

_Brrrr._

_00000_

Sai raised an eyebrow. His irises moved from the right corner to the left. After 10 minutes he was still in front of Hokage's residence wondering if there was a possibility of him charging the batteries form his remote at home if he were to put them between the glares that Sakura and Neji were throwing since he came down form the office to find them there like stones. He lifted one finger and concentrating, with the tip of his tongue arched upwards on his upper lip, he brought it up with extreme accuracy between the faces of the two **ex**-team-mates only to snap it back shaking his whole arm as it had been crossed by a wave of high-voltage. He sighed and rolled his eyes. Joking was ok, but it was getting ridiculous even for him.

"Would you stop the staring and start the fucking? It will do well for your health. Trust me, I've read it in a book."

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End file.
